Weight this morning 146.4 lbs. I want to be happy, but who can be happy about anything in the 140s? Or 130s for that matter. I feel like when I hit 129 that I will truly be pleased with my efforts. Until then every pound I lose is just a bitter reminder of every pound I gained.
I am less sick then I was a few days ago. We all know what that means. Yes, strong enough for b/p. I didn't really binge that much yesterday, but I purged practically everything. I feel shitty today because of it. Like a hang over. Headache. Dehydrated. Vile.
I am glad it's Friday. I start my vacation when I finish work today. No, I'm not doing anything or going anywhere. I was thinking about fasting since I don't have to be able to think clearly, but we'll see. I will probably sit around all day and read new ED blogs, and look at thinspo.
Contemplating trying diet pills. Not sure which to try. I don't want my hands to be too shaky. It's bad for business.
I am less sick then I was a few days ago. We all know what that means. Yes, strong enough for b/p. I didn't really binge that much yesterday, but I purged practically everything. I feel shitty today because of it. Like a hang over. Headache. Dehydrated. Vile.
I am glad it's Friday. I start my vacation when I finish work today. No, I'm not doing anything or going anywhere. I was thinking about fasting since I don't have to be able to think clearly, but we'll see. I will probably sit around all day and read new ED blogs, and look at thinspo.
Contemplating trying diet pills. Not sure which to try. I don't want my hands to be too shaky. It's bad for business.
I always do fasting on my vacations too. I have been using oxyelite pro and I totally recommend them they are amazing. the first two days youre a little shaky but after that nothing. but i will say im going off of them right now and im having major caffeine withdrawl. ps thanks for the info on my pinky nail, im just trying to keep it bandage and clean and hopefully in a couple months it will get better. but i really appreciate the advice i was freaking out haha
ReplyDelete146?! I need to get my shit together and start losing again!
ReplyDeleteHello girls I have returned to blogger after trying to lose weight the healthy way and developing a better mental health I gave up I threw it all away to become "Delicate!!" Threw all my hard work away so I could eat from one extreme to another, to get to my goals quicker!! As many of us do we give up and think it will be easier and quicker to try a stupid diet which you only end up binging and back to square one!!
ReplyDeleteI am ashamed of my choices and want to continue down my path of being healthy!! I can not believe I nearly threw it all away!! I have decided to give it my all 100% and nothing less!! I will reach my GOALS but in a HEALTHY way!!
I too want to look great in a Bikini, in that Little Party Dress, in those CK Jeans but I want to ROCK them without feeling GUILTY, without LYING to all those around me and to not be KILLING MYSELF in the process!! I want to look HOT in ULTIMATE HEALTH and HAPPINESS, I want to have AWESOME SELF ESTEEM and I want to ROCK CONFIDENCE!! I want to earn the JOY of achieving HEALTH - HAPPINESS - SELF ESTEEM and CONFIDENCE the right way not the wrong way!! I want this more than anything in LIFE and I am going to get it !! It is now or never, there is no looking back!! Please support me and I will return the favor!! I choose to follow girls with distorted eating as I feel they understand what I am going through compared to "normal eating" girls they just think I am crazy!!
http://never----ever----give----up.blogspot.com/2011/02/one-place-to-another.html
I am putting this every where because I know I will influence at least one person out in this great big world to never give up and to keep trying!!
Do SOMETHING special for yourself while you're on vacation. : ) You deserve it.
ReplyDelete