Senna Tea

Today I have had 4 cups of senna laxative tea...

I have not done this in a while, and not entirely sure what prompted the act today. I am sitting around waiting for the consequences. I guess I felt so bloated this morning that 1 cup lead to 2 lead to 3 and then 4. I'll be on the can all night I am sure. I guess it comes down to the fact that I am home by myself, and can do whatever I want. No need to be sneaky.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Christmas. Aside from the senna tea I have been pretty miserable. I hate working, and I hate being on call.

Psychiatry appointment on Monday. I don't like my psychiatrist very much. She grates my nerves. I want to change my meds around, but if I suggest this then it probably won't happen. Some weird type of power struggle. I have not been to counseling in forever, but my schedule didn't really accommodate it. I kept going the day after I was on call, and I was so tired that all I would do is cry and speak incoherently. So I stopped going. I can cry at home for free, and save the $40 copay.

I hate mental illness. It seems unfair. If you eat right, and don't smoke, and blah blah blah then you will be generally healthy for most of your life. Mental illness seems to just happen. OK, I'll give you family history and environmental triggers, but still seems pretty unfair to me.