Shit. Holy shit. Holy mother fucking shit.
Today is the worst binge I have ever had....ever. I don't know what triggered it, and I don't know how I continued to spiral out of control.
I can list the foods, but I am too ashamed to list the quantities.
Not sure why I did this, My weight has been shit for days and days.
This is what I ate, unfortunately :( :( :(
protein shake, protein bar, starbucks coffee, turkey/cranberry/brie panini, hazelnut chocolate bar, chocolate donuts, chocolate donuts, chocolate donuts, beer, pizza, chocolate..........
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I resolve to work out for two hours tomorrow morning, and restrict for the rest of the day...except for 1 slimfast shake and one diet meal = 270 calories. That will be 450 intake and -1200 output. I am not a cutter, but I almost feel like I deserve it....again not a cutter and don't want to start. I have enough tattoos that I am always trying to hide.
_________________________________________
On a positive note--I think a tattoo shall be my reward for weight loss. First I will set up some realistic goals. Sorry to add that I have gained back all the weight I lost :( boo hoo
So-
145--case of sugar free Red Bull
140--mani/pedi
135--facial
130--New heart rate montitor
125--new bras/panties from Victoria Secret
120--Out with friends to strip club or trip to New York City
118--New wristlet by Coach, Michael Kors, or Juicy Couture
116--Teeth whitening
114--Christian Dior makeup
112--New jeans
110--New coat and designer purse
108--Laser hair removal
106--new tattoo
103--trip to Dublin, Ireland
I will succeed. I am more than this sack of fat. I am smart and intelligent and capable of overcoming my current disposition.
That said, I have yet to acknowledge my followers-I love you. I love you despite knowing you. You give me courage to persevere, and to hopefully succeed. I know I will have the occasional hiccup, however, I am extremely goal oriented, and I know I can do it.... we can all do it. We all know some super skinny person that barely eats, and we are just as capable as them. Today I will stop looking at my plate, and start focusing on my scale!
Today is the worst binge I have ever had....ever. I don't know what triggered it, and I don't know how I continued to spiral out of control.
I can list the foods, but I am too ashamed to list the quantities.
Not sure why I did this, My weight has been shit for days and days.
This is what I ate, unfortunately :( :( :(
protein shake, protein bar, starbucks coffee, turkey/cranberry/brie panini, hazelnut chocolate bar, chocolate donuts, chocolate donuts, chocolate donuts, beer, pizza, chocolate..........
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I resolve to work out for two hours tomorrow morning, and restrict for the rest of the day...except for 1 slimfast shake and one diet meal = 270 calories. That will be 450 intake and -1200 output. I am not a cutter, but I almost feel like I deserve it....again not a cutter and don't want to start. I have enough tattoos that I am always trying to hide.
_________________________________________
On a positive note--I think a tattoo shall be my reward for weight loss. First I will set up some realistic goals. Sorry to add that I have gained back all the weight I lost :( boo hoo
So-
145--case of sugar free Red Bull
140--mani/pedi
135--facial
130--New heart rate montitor
125--new bras/panties from Victoria Secret
120--Out with friends to strip club or trip to New York City
118--New wristlet by Coach, Michael Kors, or Juicy Couture
116--Teeth whitening
114--Christian Dior makeup
112--New jeans
110--New coat and designer purse
108--Laser hair removal
106--new tattoo
103--trip to Dublin, Ireland
I will succeed. I am more than this sack of fat. I am smart and intelligent and capable of overcoming my current disposition.
That said, I have yet to acknowledge my followers-I love you. I love you despite knowing you. You give me courage to persevere, and to hopefully succeed. I know I will have the occasional hiccup, however, I am extremely goal oriented, and I know I can do it.... we can all do it. We all know some super skinny person that barely eats, and we are just as capable as them. Today I will stop looking at my plate, and start focusing on my scale!
I know that feeling... I jus started a horrible little feast of chips and chicken nuggets with tomoatoe sauce and God only knows what else I will manage to consume today *sigh*
ReplyDeleteI feel you. Lets just promise ourselves that tomorrow is not only a new day, but the day we finally change our ways :)
ReplyDeleteLet's try our hardest to get to 145! What do you weigh right now? I can't believe I was so close in October (146.6) but gotten all the way back up to 155.
ReplyDeleteI love your weight loss reward list. Last year I bought myself 2 Dooney & Burke purses, one for each 10 lbs I lost. The year before I got myself a Coach wristlet for weight loss... I love it so much.
I want to go to Ireland so bad, it's on my bucket list!
May we both reach our goals this year!
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ReplyDeleteKeep looking forward =) we all have days were we binge and eat everything in sight but just have to stop ourselves and work on making the rest of the day good!!
ReplyDeleteSetting up rewards for you weightloss is great!! I too have done that, if I stick to my plan this week I will go and get a massage!! It really does help motivate you =)
Good Luck girls and you can do it =)
xx
A rewards list...That's a great idea!!! I'm gonna have to try one. It's good motivation. Good luck babe! You can do this!
ReplyDelete